But, what I do know is how I feel towards God.
I don't usually write a whole blog post about God, the great man Himself but today, I want to. I really want to share about how amazing He is. I'm a backslider to be honest. I'm usually the backslider. I only find God when I have problems but never when I feel happy with the things He has done for me. I never appreciate all the good things He has done but I always blame Him for all the bad things that happened to me.
That's the negative side of me. I don't appreciate God enough.
But after going to church a couple of times, I have learned how to seek God no matter good or bad times. I have learned how to thank Him despite all the bad stuff that happened because I know this is just a test for me. This is all God's plan.
I went to church last night. It was praise and worship - my favourite!! So I was just singing and praising God...and when it was the quiet time...I sang to myself silently while thinking about God and I just felt so peaceful. And it just struck me! I felt this overwhelming feeling that makes me want to cry but I was worried about my make-up (lol -_-) so I tried my best not to. But I know that was His presence. I know He touched me and He told me He loved me.
I thought about Him before I sleep and the next morning - I thought about Him as well. I was wondering why do I keep thinking about God himself so many times in an hour....
And while I was showering, I realized. Oh. I'm in love. I'm in love with God Himself! I'm smiling while typing this. Haha. Oh man. I feel like I wanna know more about God and everything He has done for us. I want to read the bible. I want to go to church so I can feel His presence all over again. I'm really, really hungry for God.
God is just like a friend. Really. First of all, He will start off as an acquaintance to you. You know who He is. You know what He can do but you are not convinced. You're not so sure about someone you don't know well enough. At this point, you can choose to allow him to enter your heart or not. But I did.
So I'm like, 'Hey, nice to meet you God.' I wanna know more about you. Let's be friends! So I attend church regularly. You know - when you want to be closer to someone, you have to meet in order to communicate face-to-face so you can be more than just acquaintances.
I have become friends with God. He is my friend. But what do friends do? We catch up, we talk, we hang out...and when you become close friends, you start to feel comfortable. You share everything - your problems, your life, your happy stuff - you tell God your happy stuff, the things that make you sad...
You have always loved Him as your friend - your best friend...and how does love feels like? Like really, really love? You will know it when you feel it. Seriously.
It just comes and 'BANG!' and hallelujah! You are in love with God, the man Himself.
It's a lot like love. Really. I have never loved a man before (other than my dad heh:P) but God, you are the first one. Isn't that amazing?
All this while - this person will always be a friend to you until he/she does something amazing. And you will realized - that's the feeling of love. It just comes and it leaves such a huge impact that you have no choice but to admit that you're in love. :*)
That's how I feel towards God. Mmmhmmm.