AHOY AHOY AHOY MATE!! *points long sword onto anyone who’s reading this post*
People usually think of pirates as the bad guys but really, they’re not. That is, after you watch Pirates of the Caribbean. Pirates don’t normally steal or rob – they just do it rarely. Instead, pirates help kill evil sea creatures and weird ugly beasts that haunt normal human beings in the middle of the night.
And yes, pirates are NOT normal people. Pirates are extraordinary people, saving humans from the world and robbing people with the most creative ways! Seriously. Using a boat to rob people on boats? Interesting ey? Not those normal robberies you see where people use a motorcycle wearing this nude coloured panty hose to cover their faces stealing your stuff like that – nope. Pirates do it differently and that makes them EXTRAordinary.
That is why I want to be a pirate. Is there a female term for pirates?? Well, I don’t think is so I shall make one myself! I want to be a pirate-ss! And do you know why I want to be a swashbuckling cool pirate like Will Turner(Orlando Bloom)? T__________T He’s not starring in the fourth installment anymore *sobs*
But anyways, here are my top 3 reasons on why I would want to be a swashbuckling pirate-ss!
1) SAY the phrase, “Ahoy mate. I’m a pirate. (ss) YAAAAAAR!!!!”
“FEAR ME, BITCHES.”
And people would immediately be afraid of you. They fear you. And when they fear you, they follow your rules. They have no choice but to respect you. Even though it’s a fake respect but hey, better than nothing!
They give you whatever you want even though you are not physically strong. You can gain lots of armies ranging from strong muscular hairy beasts *coff* I meant men to small cutesy little dwarf sized boys.
And the best part is? They will ALL listen to you. *BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA* Of course, I wouldn’t take that for granted. I’m going to learn some martial arts so when they do disobey me, I’m going to “HIYAHH” them the pirate way!!
2) Pirates get hot girls and Pirate-ss errrrrr get the hot guys ;)
WEET WEET!! Isn’t this the main reason why anybody wants to be a pirate??
Okay. I know this post is supposed to be about the fourth installment of POTC but I really have no attraction towards Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) so I ‘m going to speak on behalf for the guys, okay?
LOOK AT JOHNNY DEPP’S GIRL!!
Take a look at this picture *whistles~*
What caught your attention first? The beautiful Penelope Cruz or the smexy hot dog with the dark fur looking solemnly into your eyes that pierce through your heart?
Such a hard decision.
But, because I’m typing on behalf for the guys, I might have to pick the dog. NAH. Just joking.
OF COURSE I PICK THE GIRL LA!! Every normal guy would definitely look at the girl first unless….you are NOT a normal guy. Hmm.
If you have a hot beautiful girl lying down on the sand greeting you like that, would you want to be a pirate? Hell I betcha you want!!
I mean, who wouldn’t want to right? You can even get the dog as a dessert. The woman is the main course
Don’t think wrong…mates, I’m talking about clean stuff so you can wipe that saliva off your lips. Naughty, naughty.
Yesh, most pirates get the hot girls and er….pirate-ss gets…
THE HOT GUYS!! OH YEAH!!!!
I personally really really like *coff* Will Turner compared to Jack Sparrow and even though he’s not in the 4th installment of POTC, I don’t care! Once a pirate, always a pirate RAAAAARR!!
Do you want this beautiful man in your bedroom every night? Do you want to hear him recite pirate poetry to you every night? Do you want him to display his majestic sword skills to you every night?
Okay, what’s with the every night?? =_=
But it sounds more romantic wa….
Anyways, if you exclaimed out “YES OH YES YES YES YES” to every of my “Do you want” THEN HELLO BABEH!!
BE A PIRATE AND YOU GET THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN AS A GIFT!!
Or maybe…Will Turner is not your type. I mean, how could he not be? Those alluring wicked eyes that could kill you with one glance, that uh-ma-zing moustache that makes him look oh-so-mature but no overly old…and those…BEAUTIFUL locks of hair that’s even better than mine x10
Oh well. Then again, if too many people wants Will Turner, there might be none for me so say hello to the rest of the pirates, mates!!
OH COME ON. Who doesn’t like Jack Sparrow?
Well I don’t. *wave hands frantically*
No la, I’m neutral but okay, I will try to “like” him in a fan girl approach.
Girls love him for his amazing eyeliner skills. Girls love his braided beard. Girls love his unique one of a kind fashion sense. Girls love his…wicked humor. Girls love….
AIYA!! TOO HARD LA. I can’t be mushy to someone I don’t LOVE. But conclusion is, GIRLS JUST LOVE JACK SPARROW.
But some girls might be picky. They don’t want Will Turner or Jack Sparrow. They might want…
The possibly “OLD BUT HOT” (Classified as old hotties) pirate guy.
There’s something hot about his….uh. scar. I guess.
But that’s just some girls.
But if any of these guys or girls OR dogs make you go GA-GA like ME, then more of the reasons why you AND I should be a pirate.
You get a beautiful partner for your entire life who can speak hot pirate language, amazing fighting skills and even….good direction skills.
OH!! And everyday is an adventure with them. *wink wink*
3) Your life would BE SO DIFFERENT once you’re a pirate!!
Like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different.
Say hello to huge ships, “special” looking people or uh creatures.
Say hello to ROBBERY!! But if I were to be a pirate, I would target the right people. I would be a good pirate who would only instruct my pirate pals to rob the rich and EVIL people. I would still rob the rich but good people except that I won’t torture them the way I torture the rich and evil people >=D
Ahhhh. Smart idea, smart idea *rubs chin*
As for the poor people…hmm. I shall spare them and greet them “ALOHA” and “SAYONARA” when they leave.
Le sigh. Pirates must have good moral values as well, oh kay.
OH YA, and also say hello to new places that you have never visited before!
Pirates normally travel on big ships from place to place and don’t you just find the places they visit…EXOTIC? I DO!! I love travelling to exotic places, looking at new things I have never seen before, observing the environment! AH. Bliss.
And this is specially for guys who wants to have long hair but never have the courage to. In Malaysia, people can be harsh to you if you have odd looking hairstyle i.e long hair. I know my dad detests guys with long hair because it makes them look girly.
Well, not in pirates! I have never seen him complaining about Jack Sparrow’s hair! So yes, BE A PIRATE AND YOU CAN HAVE LONG AND LUSCIOUS HAIR!!
Why do pirates have nice looking hair ah?
AND AW COME ON. Don’t you just love a pirate’s fashion sense??? They have good layering skills and whatever they put on screams “FASHIONABLE!!”
And good thing is, you need not be a fair lady when you’re a pirate-ss.
You can eat sloppily (Which I always do and got scolded by my friends ) without people judging you BECAUSE ALL pirates do that hehehe!!
Oh, the more we eat sloppily,
Oh, the more we eat sloppily,
The happier we'll be.
For your friends are my friends,
And my friends are your friends.
Oh, the more we eat sloppily,
The happier we'll be!
YEA!!! We are TOGETHER as ONE.
You can also braid one another’s hair, dye one another’s hair, gossip with your pirate mates about one another’s hair or…beard *giggle sheepishly*
Doesn’t that sound SOOOOOOO fun?
I know “GOLD” is probably what a pirate wants but hey, I don’t really care much for that.
Cause a Pirate’s life is normally carefree. You can wake up anytime, you’re free to go anywhere and you get the best of both worlds.
A hot guy/girl + Money
Now who says PIRATE can’t buy both love and money huh??
If you’re a pirate, girls will automatically love you because they think you are “sexy” and they will probably say things like “Oh you can rob my money anytime or even better – my heart” and they might slap your chest a couple of times or something.
And if you’re a pirate-ss, guys would think you are hot and would love if you perform some swashbuckling sword skills in front of them and clap their hands like silly seals who have never eaten a fish in days.
Oh well!! That’s just my imagination.
So does being a pirate sounds cool to you? Cause it does sounds cool to me!!
I’m ready to go rob some rich fellas and grab myself some hunky looking Will Turner anytime
Catch Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides on May 19th!! Don’t miss out your chance to become a pirate ;)
Even if it’s just a short while, hey, better than nothing *wink wink*
P/S: Last picture taken from Nuffnang and the rest: Google.com
PP/S: Song lyrics originally taken from “The more we get together”