Monday, March 22, 2010


I'm so unsure of who I truly, really am right now.

I feel like I'm turning into this really mean, moodless, bitchy, cranky and anything negative etc person.

I don't know how I turn out like that...I mean, compared to last time, I was actually so much nicer, well from my perspective, yes.

Who cares what I blog online? That's doesn't matter. Blogging is DIFFERENT.

Blogging is where everybody type out their thoughts freely and of course, more powerfully. It's because behind the computer screen, everyone feels a little stronger than usual. Who doesn't right?

Everybody is like that.

I'm aware of how many ranting posts I have in a month(last time), but I'm like that, the truly me, is like that! I'm cranky, quick-minded and I type out anything that comes into my mind regardless if it's harsh or not.

I know my limits. I know how harsh I should be and how harsh I shouldn't be.

The harshest I could go is bitching about someone online, indirectly without mentioning the name.

I'm not talking about anyone in particular right now btw. I'm just typing my thoughts out. They aren't bad, anyway.

That isn't that harsh, personally. The couldn't be more harsh that what people did to me, unintentionally and directly.

Don't think I'm mean just cause I did that, think about what you did before that caused me to DO that.

Of course, I'm the type that hold grudges >:)

Sorry, but I live by this quote:

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel"

So true, no?

The true me...even I'm not certain of who I really am. And that sucks a lot. It's like living in this world with no intentions or anything...even I did have, I look at the mirror and wonder who is this girl, man?

I hate being MEAN to my loved ones. But bear with me, I'm trying to be a better person.

I can't treat everyone the same too. I have difficulties. Each of my loved ones, all have a special place in my heart. (Please, i dont need Science here so stfu kthxbai)

I have to treat each and everyone of you different because your personalities are different.

I have fun with you guys too =) it's just that when you have fun, you can't really realize that you are actually having so much fun because well, you're having fun.

And when it comes to the end, it's over. Happiness don't last forever but memories do. Treasure how much memories we have instead of how huge the laughter or fun is.

I care most about how people make me feel around them instead of how fun they are. Hey, a fun friend may be fun to be around with, but if he/she hurts you constantly, then, he/she ain't that fun anymore.

The nicest a friend could go is, listen to your problems, cheer you up when you're down, not necessary need to be there for me ALL the time but once in a while would be nice, especially for big problems, accepts you for who you truly really am no matter how gross, annoying, weird you are, have the same level of funniness (you gotta have a friend who laughs at the same things you do)

There's more but those are the important traits a nice friend should have. If you have found yours, then, congrats :)

You know you have found your special one.

I wish to be that nice friend people want to have.

Never ,ever try to change me because after I have been changed, it's hard to revert to who I truly used to be.

Changing to be a better person, sure :)

I feel...lost.

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
Henry David Thoreau

So will I really rise up and become something greater than ever imagined?

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♥ Lilian