Friday, February 05, 2010

Jokes again!

Ah, I haven't been blogging much lately because I don't have ANYTHING to blog about. TO liven up things in my blog, I shall just post a few jokes although they're not much. Maybe some pick-up lines to humor things up a little? :)

And I found some Twilight Pick Up lines on the net! HAHAHA! They really do make sense if you guys actually did read the Twilight Series. Of course, it helps even more if you visualize Edward Cullen and Jacob Black actually saying it to *YOU*

Edward's pick up lines

Hi. The voices in my head just told me to come talk to you.

My sister can see the future. Let me give you a clue, it’s Me + You.

Am I dead? Because I think I just met an angel.

Pardon me Miss. I…uhh..hello? Dang it! She fainted again. Why can’t I stop dazzling people? (Hmm, I like Edward, and I think this one is sort of making fun of Edward)

Hi, I’m Edward. I can be the super hero or the bad guy. (FECK! THIS IS HILARIOUS!)

I’m an addict. Will you be my heroin?

Jacob's pick up lines

OMG! MOST OF THIS ARE SO NAUGHTY! I swear! I went "OOOOOOOOOOOOH!" when I read them! Notti but hilarious! SOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!

I can go from furry to naked in 1.3 seconds

Will you be the mother of my puppies?

Wanna play a game? You can be Little Red Riding Hood and I’ll be the Big Bad Wolf. (OMG! SOOOOOO BAD THAT IT'S SO GOOD!)

So…how do you feel about dogs?

I give a whole new meaning to ‘Animal Attraction’

You look imprintable…I mean uhh..impeccable in that outfit. (Ok, people, you so need to read Eclipse to get this)

Hey baby, need a mechanic for that finely tuned body?

You know what they say, right? Once you go "Black" you never go back.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

And the rest are normal pick up lines! For me, pick-up lines are WAAAAAAY better than jokes because most of them make sense! I rarely hear good jokes which is so sad because each time I read jokes on the net, they don't seem to make me laugh.

Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.

Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

I want to stick to u like glue-cose.

Can I be your enzyme? because my active site is dying for a chemical reaction.

"DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN?" Junior asks his dad,

His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!"

"Well, I saw your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on YAHOO. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button."

"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS."

Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'!

And how about a dose of some visual jokes?


That's all! Hopefully, I will come up with something to blog about this weekend! Which I already have in mind, but just won't spill it out :D

Click here if you want to read MORE but old jokes and pick up lines which I have blogged about before!

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♥ Lilian