Today notes the last day of 2009 and also, my last blog post for the year 2009.
This year started off pretty bad. I was in a new class with unfamiliar surroundings and I had difficulties trying to blend in with my new class. The only people I knew in 4s2 were Sabena and Vincent.
Sabena wasn't close to me that time and Vincent was seated far away from my place. I was a loner most of the time because I couldn't blend in with the rest. Even if I did try to join in a group while they were talking, they would stop all of a sudden and give me weird looks.
It took me 8 months, 8 freaking months to be able to feel comfortable with my class and blend in with the rest without any awkwardness.
Nevertheless, i felt thankful. Thankful, for I have coped being in a new unfamiliar surrounding which will probably help me in the future. :)
Things started to get better in the middle of the year but then, as the saying goes, "all good things must come to an end"
August. An extremely tough month. I opened a blogshop around May and decided to share it with the others in July. Opening a blogshop is most probably the smartest action that I have ever done in 2009.
I got spammers spamming in my enquiry box everyday. They would insult my looks, my "skinny" frame and even my boob-size! (I love my boob-size btw *smug* i will blog about this sometime later)
I had to delete and ban them everyday and at times when I could no longer stand it, I would just breakdown and cry. I even wanted to delete my blogshop!
I spent almost a month trying to make my blogshop alive and I told myself to not give up because if I did delete my blogshop, they are the ones who would feel happy because they had succeed in making me do what they wanted me to do earlier on.
Some would even pretend to be buyers and give me fake email addresses and phone numbers. When i found out they were fake, I was extremely mad and heartbroken. What could I do back then?
Sue them? Find their i.p addresses and report them to the police? I doubt the police would even give a damn about it unless I'm some rich arsed kid.
This continued on and I was fine with it because they were harmless until one day, a senior who was in my school last year, insulted me in her personal blog. I was devastated.
Someone who I don't even know at ALL!
I became very very insecure, my self-esteem dropped to zero and I was self-conscious most of the time. I did not even want to go to school because I was afraid of what other people might think of me. I was alone most of the time and I find difficulties trying to handle it. Added on, i had family and friendship problems.
I felt like my whole world was tumbling down. But thanks to my dear friends who supported and comforted me throughout, I recovered fast.
This was an experience and also, a lesson to me.
It taught me to become stronger and not matter what other people think of me. All that matters is what I think of myself. Thanks to you, I am a stronger person now and think about it, haters. If you try to insult my looks/my small frame/my boob-size? , you're not bringing me down. Instead, you're making me stronger. Kthxbai.
Okay, a summary of what I have learned in 2009:
- I became stronger, emotionally. (physically? HAHAHA! I did not grow any biceps)
- I learned to cope in unfamiliar surroundings.
- Life is unfair. Deal with it.
- There is no such thing as "Best friends should always be by your side when you are at your most saddest state" Please. Common sense here. We are not God. We do not know when you are sad or when you are happy. I never blame my
closebest friends when they are not here for me when I'm sad because I know its unreasonable. If you are sad, you can get them to be here for you if you call them and tell them how you feel.
- I complain less about how unfair my life is and embrace it instead. I am fortunate enough to have my lovely parents, siblings and a grandmother who loves me and also, my best friends.
- I have once again, learned to call someone my best friend.
Tomorrow, i will be blogging about "What made 2009 such a remembrance year" HEHEHEHHEH! I love this one!
Burn away all those sad memories in 2009, peeps! *throws confetti*