Monday, June 01, 2009

its coming back again

Everytime i see my dad tucking in my little brother to sleep, i feel somehow sad...

i miss the times when i was small, my parents would always tuck me to sleep. i wish they could tuck me into bed again. i wanna feel like a kid again. i want to kiss my mum at her cheeks and hold both of her hands wishing her good night before she goes to sleep, just like what i do to my grandmother everytime before she sleeps.

i want my dad to tuck me into bed everynight. i want to have father-daughter talks with him just like how it was when i was small. i want to follow him to work every morning and just sit inside the car drawing doodles in his black journal just like before.

growing up sucks. when you grow up, your parents feel like you're a grown up that doesn't need much love anymore. and i somehow envy those people whose parents are overprotective against them. those that say "stop it, ma pa, i'm a teenager already, stop treating me like a little girl!" to their parents.

i really miss those times....

it feels painful to know that IT HAPPENED already and you can't do much about it except hope someday time would erase everything that had happened before.

you know what- its not like i don't try. i try very hard very very hard, but sometimes when you try to hard, it just doesn't work anymore no matter how many times you try, so i always tell myself, why not just give up?

aw............the feeling's back again...

the "i-dont-feel-like-going-to-school-tomorrow"


or should i not?

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♥ Lilian